It’s been about a month, maybe longer since I’ve posted. That’s what a run-in with a thyroid problem does for ya. I’ve been having symptoms since November; elevated TSH count, (which I had no idea about), fatigue, aches and pains, and feeling cold all of the time. Then, right after Mother’s Day I felt as if I hit the wall.
No energy. Nothing.
If you’ve ever had hypothyroidism, you know what I’m talking about. All you want to do is sit with a warm blanket on a comfortable couch and close your eyes. Morning, noon and night. Thank goodness there’s stuff like levothyroxine. I’m feeling better, and hope in the coming weeks to feel even better than this!
Being at home a lot lately, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. Just life in general. And how it can hit you out of the blue. Just recently, I watched a funeral director take my neighbor out of his home, after he came home the day before from either rehab or the hospital, and died overnight. He had been sick and was in his 70s, but still . . .
More good news followed this month, when my FAVORITE radio show, the Elvis & Friends Show, on every Sunday morning was CANNED by WOGL. Rockin’ Ron Cade was the DJ for that show, which was #1 rated every single week! This is how they treat you after 38 years with the station.
Don’t listen to them, that’s my recommendation. Just like that, they decide to re-boot themselves and ALL of the DJs and ALL of the shows that have been staples of their station, suddenly are no good anymore.
No, WOGL, YOU’RE no good anymore.
And that leads me to my topic for today. Difficult people. Just like you, I have known many people in my life. Most of them I honest-to-God, no-kidding, wouldn’t want to have them in my gee-golly life anymore.
you don’t have to pass anyone’s filter in order to live your life. You know, those roadblocks, and little control switches they throw at you? Ah No!
TOO many people in your (and my) life want to control it. Depending on their point of view, that control can be anywhere from mild to debilitating. Am I right?!
I had a father like that. It didn’t occur to me until I was in my 50s that he was trying to have it all his own way. I won’t go into the particulars, only to say that when all was said and done, I did not go to his wake or funeral.
Daughter #1 didn’t make an appearance.
It must have been earth-shattering to someone like him who was always keeping up appearances. Always acting like he “cared”, but that care was only for himself. To this day, I have never regretted staying away.
You see, I was doing the right thing. For ME. Don’t judge me, because you don’t know circumstances and you would be appalled if you did. That’s all I’m saying on that.
Yes, there are times in your life when “ME” must come first. All my life I had always been the good daughter, towing the line, doing the things that were expected of me. Except when it came to thinking for myself, THAT wasn’t acceptable to him.
I was supposed to think, all right. But his way, his thoughts. Not daughter #1. I think for myself.
That was my mother’s greatest legacy to me.
Always think for yourself, no matter what the crowd is doing. Most of the time your actions will be centered on your daily activities; not too many earth-shattering events will be in there, but they will be in there. My mom wasn’t a radical person, she didn’t believe in fairy-tales or “they lived happily ever after” endings. But, she knew how to treat people, all people, right.
Learn that lesson, and you’re more than half-way there.
It is inevitable that you and I will run into those impossible people. Some we already know; they’re family and friends. Neighbors, even. They can annoy and leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. Every time. It’s funny how the years will pass and yet their behavior will always stay the same.
Is that YOUR fault? Hardly.
There are ways to deal with the difficult people in your life.
Ways that will work for you.
Be Cool. That means staying in control. YOU have that ability at every moment, in every situation. I know it’s easy to go off on a hot-head diatribe, but stay quiet and cool. By just doing this, you will be throwing that overbearing person off their game. They are expecting some kind of reaction out of you. When they get nothing, they don’t know how to react.
Many times a person is trying to get your reaction to something, because they want your commiseration. Is that okay with you? If not, forget it! You don’t have to go along to get along. With anyone.
Shine the Light on Them. There are people who LOVE being unreasonable. I think they make it their life’s work. To make the rest of us miserable. There have been people in my family, co-workers, and others I’ve met who are this way. So, how do you deal with this?
By putting the spotlight on them. By being proactive. You know these people; they have no problem pointing out things you don’t do right. At least from their perspective. It doesn’t fit their lay of the land. Therefore, it’s no good. They will constantly point out “what’s wrong” rather than “how can we fix this problem.”
And they do it for a reason. They want control. Over you. Don’t give it to them.
Don’t go on the defensive, because you are giving them what they want. With most people, this tactic will work like a charm. But, you are NOT most people. Learn a few techniques and you’ll catch them at their game. And YOU will win.
Use “I” statements. Tell them how you’re feeling about what they’ve just said, rather than go on the attack, because that is what they are looking for. Keep your questions of a probing nature and let them know, under no uncertain terms, that you are not allowing this behavior out of them.
“You are making me uncomfortable right now. If things aren’t spelled out clearly, let’s go over them again. But I will not be treated with disrespect and if that’s what you want to do, this conversation is over.”
You have put the spotlight back on them. Right where they don’t want it.
Don’t be a Follower, Be a Leader. All conversations between two people should be one where there is following and leading from BOTH sides. But, with your impossible person, there is only one side; their side. They love to set a negative tone, take the lead, and stay there commenting on everything that is wrong or a mistake.
All you need to do is say, “by the way, . . .” and change the subject. This gets them off their high-horse and deflates their rant completely. And what have you just done? You’ve now taken the lead. Remember, you have as much right to speak as anyone else. They may not be teaching this First Amendment principle correctly in colleges these days, but that’s the truth!
Lastly, Throw Them Out! You don’t have to put up with everyone you meet. Some people are just not worth the trouble. Your time is valuable, what you do and say means something, and if they can’t or won’t appreciate you, then don’t bother with them anymore.
I know that’s a difficult concept to wrap your head around; especially when it comes to mothers or fathers. Or brothers or sisters or aunts or grandfathers. But they are people too; oftentimes they have spent their lives being difficult and putting the blame on everyone but themselves. You don’t have to take it. If you MUST see them, then keep it brief and polite and no more.
The good thing about this is that the more you learn how to master this art of communication, the more you will begin to feel better about yourself. And your confidence level with rise. You know, we don’t have to let people treat us as if we are still 8 years old. Those days are long over, and you don’t allow anyone to keep you down.
There is a very interesting article all about this, that explains things even further.
Hope this helps you in
“Homekeeping Inspirations for Knitting Your Best Life!”