Are we programmed to win or what? It seems from the time we acknowledge consciousness all we know is winning. Gotta be first, gotta be best, gotta be head of the class, gotta win that trophy, gotta gotta gotta. THEN when things don’t go as planned it seems as if the Chaos-gods have chosen us for their very own. But, knowing failure when you see it goes a long way to having a productive life.
Last Wednesday I picked my grand daughters up from their schools and took them home so they could get ready for their dance classes. Whenever Mommy is flying (she’s a flight attendant) I do that. Have you ever tried getting a just-turned-four-year-old ready for dance class? All she wants to do is clown around, laugh and giggle and not cooperate with Grammy in any way. Oh well, we finally got there with time to spare even, and they had their lessons one after the other.
It was the evening of the “blue moon.” You know the one, that highly touted twice-in-one-month full moon. By the time we got in the car to go home the moon was bright and white and big, but not as large as I’ve seen it hanging over the horizon of the Barnegat Bay in summer. That’s a sight to see!
The girls were excited to see the “blue moon” as they must have talked about it in class that day; Julia was surprised that it wasn’t BLUE. Very smart for a 5 year old. They watched it from every window and every direction and couldn’t get enough of it right up til they got out of the car.
I loved it!
I know it will stick in my memory as ‘one night with a blue moon‘, — and it was nothing special to anyone but me and my grand daughters. They may not even recall it, but I know it’s in my memory bank for all time.
It’s been a while since I wrote a post. The end of any year is always SO busy; not just for me, but for you, too. Decorating, buying, wrapping, baking, driving, working, family, emergencies, just everyday life is right there all the time for us to deal with. Then of course, add a broken ankle into the mix, and you’ve got a real mess on your hands. So, how do you settle down now that January is over? Keep reading, and I’ll show you 3 ways to know failure when you see it.
#1 – Society’s idea of failure – do it all
Have you ever noticed when people with lots of money, millions – multi millions — when they get into trouble legally, whether it’s tax evasion, bankruptcy, money laundering, they seem like they can’t face reality. Their lifestyles have become so extravagant, their mindsets so me-centered, that living in anything less than their 40,000 square foot mansion just won’t do. Many end up ending their lives. It seems like a short trip from the penthouse to the sidewalk without taking an elevator.
Why is that? I’ve thought about it for some time. Seems people like this have an “all or nothing” mentality. Life better pan out entirely my way or I do something about it. There are no compromises; no scaling back or doing with less. You’re talking about some important people here! They could not FATHOM living like you and me. I don’t understand it, I don’t condone it and I definitely
DON’T RECOMMEND IT!
To me, with all that money, you are a failure. Because money doesn’t constitute success. Can you believe it!?
Today’s way of life is incredibly complicated. With all of the modern conveniences we use on a daily basis, there never seems to be enough TIME in any day to do everything we want to do. But, there is enough time; there just are things we are doing everyday that are such a waste of time.
And then there is the philosophy that “I must do it all.” I have news for you: no one can do it all. No one can EVER do it all. You get to pick the things that are most important to you and all of the rest, gets put away or sidelined for awhile. There is no doing it all!
So, stop thinking there is.
#2 – Setting goals – then not reaching them
This is the second way to feel as if you are a failure. And what types of goals did you set for yourself? Did you say you want to make more money this year? Or find a better paying job? Or possibly continue in counseling with your spouse to save your marriage?
Goals are funny things and you hear people talk about them all the time. What they usually don’t tell you is that large goals without SMALL STEPS will get you nowhere; will lead to down a path to nothing. To the same old, same old. And that leads to that wonderful
Fear of failure
So, you set some goals, you achieved nothing, and you’re not doing THAT again. Am I right? But, that’s not how goals work. (Goals are actually a topic for another day, but I can tell you that there is a right way to come at them, which can be very successful).
There again, you start feeling like you’re a failure. Why can’t I make more money this year? It’s not as easy as it looks; there may be reasons and roadblocks standing in your way that you previously haven’t taken into account. Finding that better job may require you to seek out additional coursework and become certified in your area of expertise. Without that, your resume will just be blowing in the wind. You can’t just SAY you want a better paying job; there is work to do in order to obtain that. Have you done that work?
Whether you have done that work or not, or plan on this week or next month, you are NOT a failure because of it. Having circumstances not turn out the way you want them to does NOT constitute failure in you. There may be more to do in order to get to your goal and if not, then other opportunities will appear that will open new roads and new ideas.
#3 – When you fail, do something about it!
I don’t know about you but when I was in school, there were many times I failed at something. Unfortunately nowadays educational systems are designed more to push students through than to keep them back; all this does is to create adults who don’t know how to deal with failure. Any failure. They’ve never been taught.
There must be things you’re not particularly good at; mine would be numbers, math, and more numbers. I’ve always HATED math, never had a use for it in my life. Words are what I love, but still, in order to take care of my adult life, I’ve had to get on board where numbers are concerned. Because it’s the grown-up thing to do.
Once upon a time, I was a terrible knitter. Ok, I was just learning but it was HARD! I would knit something only to see holes where there weren’t supposed to be any holes; stitches that didn’t look right, and too many stitches on my needle than were supposed to be there! So, start over again and again and again. Over the years I’ve knitted many things and learned new stitches and figured it all out for myself. Because it was THAT important to me. Now, I can knit things like this:
And you can click on that picture if you want to learn something about taking up knitting!
If you are lacking in certain skills that you really need, do something about it. Don’t go through life believing you are not smart enough or good enough for things to work out. For instance, my husband is just terrible with directions. Over the years I realized why. When he was growing up in Staten Island he took buses everywhere. There was no need to pay attention where the bus driver was going; you just sat on the bus and looked out the window. Which meant he didn’t need to know the way; the bus took him there and back home again.
Then when he started driving I saw how lazy he was about reading signs on the roads. If we needed to move to the left because the interstate was dividing he would act like he didn’t know what was going on. But, if you’re driving you better be aware of the roads AND the signs. You know how to read English, look at the signs and figure it out. There again, that laziness factor of “I’ll let someone else do it” would kick in. Until the day I said I’m not doing it anymore. It’s your responsibility.
He wasn’t a failure at driving, just reading road signs, because he wouldn’t pay attention and think for himself. So, now you know what to do.
Make a list of things you might not do well. Then assign skills to those things. If you don’t already have those skills work on attaining them. Knowing failure when you see it is not all that difficult to do. It just takes a little extra thinking on your part. Whatever you do, don’t rely on others to point things out to you. Some people may not be aware, some people don’t want to hurt your feelings, and some people just don’t care.
I love being Grammy. That’s why I told you that little story at the beginning of this post. I’m not always perfect at it and have messed up more than once and expect it will happen again. But, I KNOW what is expected of me as grandmother to my girls and I work on that every single day. In fact, the blue moon will always be one of my most treasured memories. It might not be a BIG thing, like we’ve been programmed to think SUCCESS is all about, but it makes my life so much more blessed and simple.
That’s what I strive for each and every day: the simple life!
Life is up to you! Make of it the very best you can. You can do it. Just a little insight to
“Homekeeping Inspirations for Knitting Your Best Life”
lots of pictures
